Working Out

By Niko Bokos

Whatever happened to the good old days where the gym was a great place for a guy or a girl to simply work out or break a sweat? Imagine a society without bros and roidheads taking up mirror space and talking about all of the water weight they excitedly plan to gain from their creatine supplements they take religiously with lunch and dinner. Seemingly flawless isn’t it?
Unfortunately enough, I’m here to tell you that our perfect little society is a far and unattainable ideal distanced by something and someone that has undoubtedly plagued our gyms with an awful stink. What is this stink? One reader might ask. No, it’s not soiled gym trousers in Davy Jones’ locker—but a putrid stench of arrogance.
It seems the days where I find myself undisturbed by frat stars meticulously checking out their abs, biceps and thighs in the gym mirrors have grown farther and farther apart and it feels as though I am being sucked into one awful abyss of “bro”.
Now I’m not one to criticize the way people work out, for everyone has their own individual regiment, however the concept of standing around for forty-five minutes and then benching two hundred and fifty pounds three or four times has never quite rang a bell in my mind. Why not try something more low weight and high intensity to better improve your form and mellow your attitude?
If you’re going to stand around and give everyone else in the gym dirty looks for being within a five foot radius of you, then you should probably leave before your creatine water pops a hole in your pectorals from the stress of flexing all day.
My advice as is follows; stop trying to be tough. Bragging about how much weight you can lift might work on your application to “College Hunks Moving Junk”, but it’s certainly not going to get you the deep-seated love and attention you never got from you harsh childhood. We can all be friends here, and we can all use the gym, that we also pay for, together—so try to make it at least a little fair for everybody else.

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